Category: Assignments

A3: Conflict – ‘Mother and Daughter’

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Password: PeterS

‘Mother and Daughter’ (2018)
Running time: 10′ 51″

Format: DCI 4K
Aspect ratio: 1.85:1

Camera: Sony PXW-FS7
Lenses: Samyang Cine Primes 24mm, 35mm, 85mm

Brief: Write and shoot a short narrative film.

  • Write the script. Begin by making it very clear what the conflict is and developing the story by showing the main protagonist attempting to overcome or solve the problem.
  • Use a variety of locations to give the film some scope.
  • Storyboard the film, making detailed notes on eye-lines, screen direction and the action-axis.
  • Your narrative must apply the rules of continuity editing.
  • You must show a clear understanding of and extensive use of editing techniques in this film: empty frame, match-on-screen, movement wipe, POV etc.
  • Be sure to shoot to a high standard. Aim for perfection.

The idea for this story was inspired by an anecdote on the Humans of New York website, in which a mother told how, on discovering a letter saying her daughter had missed the application deadline for university, served the letter up for dessert after dinner, and they had started arguing.

Please see my detailed discussions on how I found and developed this story in my blog posts ‘Assignment 3 – finding and developing the story’ (Salisbury, 2018) and ‘Assignment 3 – screenplay’ (Salisbury, 2018), including how I gathered potential ideas, developed the story for ‘Mother and Daughter’ through log-line and step outline, and drafted several versions of the script.

There are two glaring errors in the film.

The first error occurs towards the end of the car sequence (01:44 – 02:02) in which the daughter gets out of the car and crosses the road to the school gate. This was filmed as a single master shot. I cut this part of the car sequence to show the daughter getting out of the car and crossing the road, an angle on the mother watching her daughter cross the road through the car window, then back to the daughter entering the school gate.

In hindsight, I now realise that I should also have filmed a POV shot from the mother’s perspective inside the car looking out, back at the daughter as she walks through the school gate. This would have put the viewer directly into the moment, through the mother’s subjective perspective. It would also have created a far more cinematic sequence of edits than simply cutting back to a very weak end segment of the master shot.

The second error occurs in scene 5 (05:31 – 06:12), in which the mother tells the daughter her father will be calling by to collect some things. This was the first dialogue scene we shot for the film and I was still finding my feet directing the actors. I had begun the day by filming non-dialogue scenes so as to help the actors settle in to the location and feel at ease with their roles. Lydia, who plays the mother, has both stage and TV acting experience. Leila had no experience acting for camera before making this film, other than a single class as part of her performing arts course last year.

Visually, this scene feels too static and a little awkward. In hindsight, I should have given Leila something to ‘do’ while delivering her lines, such as pouring herself a glass of water. Also, the framing feels too tight. A wider shot would have worked better here, with a slightly lower camera position to reduce the amount of kitchen counter in the foreground, and placing more emphasis on the actors’ performances rather than on the chopping of the vegetables. Maybe using this as the establishing shot and then cutting to medium shots as the conversation develops would have given the scene more life.

Fig. 1

Both of these errors could have been avoided. Adding the POV shot in scene 2 and giving the actor some screen business in scene 6 would have improved the overall feel and flow of the film.

Several shots in ‘Mother and Daughter’ where designed in response to films I have seen recently. For example, I was particularly interested in the way Kurosawa had framed characters in two separate rooms within a single shot in The Bad Sleep Well (1960). This gave me the idea of using a similar composition in scene 5, to show the daughter arriving home and seeing her mother in the kitchen preparing dinner.

Using a composition like this enabled me to show the two characters in separate rooms simultaneously. It also enabled me to draw the viewer’s attention to the daughter’s expression. I closed the scene with a push focus, from daughter to mother, drawing the viewer through to the next room, preempting the next scene in the kitchen.

     

Fig. 2 & 3

When storyboarding the film, I was continually thinking about how I would edit shots together.

For example, in the final shot of scene 7 and the first shot of scene 8 I designed a very specific cut between two shots of the daughter, where she sits up on the bed and where she is sitting at the dining table (06:30 – 06:52).

   

Fig. 4 & 5

In the first shot, she starts from a lying down position and moves into a sitting position, ending up in the right third of the frame. In the following shot in which the two characters are at the dinner table, she is still positioned in the right third of the frame.

This has the effect of holding the viewer’s gaze on Leila from the bedroom scene and into the following scene with her mother. Therefore maintaining the viewer’s attention on the daughter’s expression, out of one scene and into the next. So as we cut of one scene and into the next, our attention is already on the daughter.

This has demonstrated to me how easily you can manipulate the viewer’s attention within frame and drive the emotional emphasis of a scene forward in a particular way.

I also looked at ways of introducing visual motifs into the film. One idea I had was through the use of glass. Something which the Polish filmmaker Krzysztof Kieslowski, for instance, uses to great effect in Decalogue (1989) and Three Colours (1993-4).

I decided to place the mother behind glass twice, alone with her thoughts. The first in scene 2, after dropping her daughter off at school, and the second time in scene 3, after she discovers the letter in her daughter’s pocket.

     

Fig. 6 & 7

Both shots use window glass in similar ways to help add emotional depth to the respective scenes. The glass signifies a transparent barrier between the mother and daughter. In both cases, the mother is on the inside, with the outside world superimposed in reflection on the glass. It’s as if she is trapped inside her own world, while her daughter is on the outside, about to fly the nest.

With only one and a half days available for filming, I was conscious of the need to be fully prepared and to keep things moving on set.

Storyboarding was a key part of the process. I used A4 sheets of paper with five 16:9 shaped boxes down the right side and lines for notes on the left side. Each shot was sketched out and annotated with details on how that shot would be executed – e.g. shot types, pans, key lines of dialogue that occur in the shot, etc. A simple, but very effective visual road map of the film. The pages were inserted into a ring binder alongside the shooting script. Each shot was ticked off once it had been filmed. Shots that were omitted were given a cross.

Fig. 8

I also made copious notes in a large, soft covered journal bought specifically for this project.

Fig. 9

The journal was the first stage in planning the film shoot. On one double page per scene, I used it to plan blocking, camera positions and moves, to make rough sketches for the storyboards and for gathering reference images from other films to give a sense of how the scene will look.

I also used the journal for making notes on how I would light each scene.

 

Fig. 10

The journal was always kept close to hand when preparing each camera set up. Not only did this save time throughout the day, but it was also a great way of communicating how I was going to film each scene to my fellow crew member, who helped set up lights and operate the boom.

Interestingly, having already prepared and made notes on each shot in advance meant I could think quickly on my feet when things did not work out as planned and required a different camera position or lighting setup than expected.

Not only did I feel confident on set with my notes to hand, but the cast and crew seemed confident that things were organised and running smoothly.

The most complicated scene to shoot was Scene 8, in which the mother serves up the pavlova to her daughter and they argue. Although blocking the actors was very straightforward, finding the best camera positions for telling this part of the story was difficult.

The opening shot of Scene 8 was inspired by the dinner scene in Delicatessen (1991), which gave a nicely framed two shot of the characters at the table.

     

Fig. 11 & 12

From there I panned right, following the mother as she moves to the sink. This created an interesting composition, in which we see the two characters physically at odds with each other – the daughter in the lower left corner of the frame, with her back to her mother.

   

Fig. 13 & 14

Building up the scene in this way enabled me to use the kitchen counter as a metaphorical ‘obstacle’ between the two characters, across which they argue.

My choice of lenses for the film was based on a tip the Irish film director Ronan O’Leary gave me a few weeks ago while attending a filmmaking course in Dublin. He said, when using 35mm movie cameras you only need to use three lenses: 35mm for wide shots, 50mm for two shots and 85mm for close ups.

Transposing these focal lengths to the sensor size inside my Sony FS7 camera, this equated to the Samyang 24mm and 35mm lenses for the wide shots and two shot/medium shots respectively, and either a 50mm or an 85mm for the close ups. For close ups I decided on the longer of the two, as it gave a more intimate feel to the close up shots and threw more of the background out of focus.

This was very helpful advice when it came to selecting which lenses I would use in the film. Using three primes lenses for specific shot sizes seems to have resulted in consistent results visually and helped to give ‘Mother and Daughter’ an overall filmic style. A style that is appropriate to the film’s genre and content.

Most of the interior scenes required additional lighting. For this I used two Astra 1×1 LEDs, one as key light the other as fill, to help enhance the ambient lighting in the room in which we were filming.

In Scene 5, for example, we used two LED lights to help enhance the available daylight within the hallway. The first LED was placed in a room off the hallway to throw light into the far end of the corridor in order to light Leila as she entered the house and took off her jacket. The second LED was placed in the kitchen pointing back at the hallway, providing key light on Leila’s face when she stands in the doorway.

     

Fig. 15, behind the scenes Scene 5, and Fig. 16, behind the scenes Scene 8.

In Scene 8, we used two LEDs to enhance the available light coming from the practical lights in the dining area. Lighting this was fairly straightforward. First I exposed the camera for the practical light in the corner of the room, so as not to overexpose the light bulbs. I then added a key light, positioned near the practical light, to raise the exposure a little on the actors faces. Finally, I positioned the second LED on the other side of the camera and added some fill light to reduce the shadow area in the actors faces. This combination of practice lights and LEDs resulted in a natural looking interior night shot.

One thing that struck me about making this film was how wonderfully fruitful collaboration can be. Once I had written the script I decided to step back and give the actors room to make the characters their own. Rather than dictate a rigid vision of how I thought they should be on screen, I wanted to let the characters take on a life of their own. Trusting the actors with the characters has resulted in very authentic performances.

Also, on my suggestion at the script read through, Lydia and Leila created backstories for their characters, which generated some very interesting discussion during rehearsals on who the characters were, what they were like and, more importantly, what the dynamic between them was like.

One of the unexpected outcomes of allowing the actors enough room to build their own characters was the music I have used at the beginning and end of the film. It was great to discover that Leila was also a musician and that she wrote her own songs. While filming her scene in the daughter’s bedroom, she sang one of her songs on camera for us. When it came to editing the film, I was delighted to find that the song’s lyrics and style were a perfect fit for the story. So I decided to include Leila’s own composition rather than use generic music from a stock library. This has added greatly to the overall feel and authenticity of the film.

 

List of references

Salisbury, P. (2018) ‘Assignment 3, finding and developing the story’. Peter Salisbury Moving Image 1 Setting the Scene, August 25, 2018 [blog] At:  http://petersalisbury.com/movingimage/settingthescene/assignment-3-finding-and-developing-the-story/

Salisbury, P. (2018) ‘Assignment 3 – screenplay’. Peter Salisbury Moving Image 1 Setting the Scene, September 4, 2018 [blog] At: http://petersalisbury.com/movingimage/settingthescene/assignment-3-screenplay/

 

List of illustrations

Fig. 1 – Screenshot ‘Mother and Daughter’, scene 6.

Fig. 2 – Screenshot ‘Mother and Daughter’, scene 5.

Fig. 3 – Screenshot, The Bad Sleep Well (1960) Dir. Akira Kurosawa.

Fig. 4 – Screenshot ‘Mother and Daughter’, scene 7.

Fig. 5 – Screenshot ‘Mother and Daughter’, scene 8.

Fig. 6 – Screenshot ‘Mother and Daughter’, scene

Fig. 7 – Screenshot ‘Mother and Daughter’, scene

Fig. 8 – Storyboards for scenes 6 and 8.

Fig. 9 – Journal, notes for scene 2.

Fig. 10 – Journal, lighting notes for scene 5.

Fig. 11 – ‘Delicatessen’ (1991).

Fig. 12 -Screenshot ‘Mother and Daughter’, scene 8.

Fig. 13 – Screenshot ‘Mother and Daughter’, scene 8.

Fig. 14 – Screenshot ‘Mother and Daughter’, scene 8.

Fig. 15 – Behind the scenes, scene 5.

Fig. 16 – Behind the scenes, scene 8.

A3: Visual reference material

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I began by looking back at some films that might fit with my film’s message and captured screenshots of things that stood out for me.

I have a general sense of what I am looking for, but working in this way is helping me to refine the vague picture I had in my head. Interestingly, it has provided me with options I hadn’t thought of before.

This is a time consuming, but extremely fruitful process.

I also looked at Christopher Kenworthy’s series of ‘Master Shots’ books. There are currently three books in the series, each one a thorough manual on how to think about cinematic storytelling from the camera’s perspective.

Taking the script as my blueprint for the moving image, I went through each scene in my screenplay looking for ways to tell the story in a way that would be visually interesting and compelling for the viewer.

 

Opening Scene (scene 1) – Two women on a sofa

One idea I have for the opening scene is to shoot the entire action in one long take.

Using a wide shot and shooting a long take would allow the viewer to read the subtext behind the action without the camera telling them where to look and who to look at.

Some notable examples of this style can be found in films by Roy Anderson, Jim Jarmusch and Joann Hogg.

 

Car Sequence (scenes 2, 3 & 4)

I also looked at more specific ways of designing the shots for the car sequence at the start of the film, by looking at some of the ways in which other filmmakers have approached shooting dialogue scenes in cars.

I think it would be nice to match shot the image of the mother and daughter on the sofa (scene 1) with them in the car (scene 2). Mother on the left and daughter on the right. Both silent, locked in their own individual worlds.

Fig. 1

The first was a two shot through the windscreen. A fairly common camera set-up. But it was only after placing two shots from two films by Richard Linklater side by side, that I realised the shots (fig. 2) contained very subtle differences in camera set-up.

At first glance, you could be mistaken for thinking the camera was placed in the centre of the car’s bonnet. On closer analysis, it becomes clear that the camera is placed to one side of the bonnet. While the actors are positioned symmetrically within the frame, the shot itself is not a full-on symmetrical image. There is a slight angle on the z-axis. This subtle shift in camera placement changes the emphasis of the image.

In the shot from ‘Before Midnight’, the camera is positioned on the left side of the bonnet, in line with the passenger. While in the shot from ‘Boyhood’, the camera is positioned on the right side of the bonnet, in line with the driver. This results in a subtle difference in the feel of each shot. As a viewer, I felt ‘closer’ to the actor in line with the camera.

In ‘Before Midnight’, we are listening to the female character, while watching the male character’s reactions to what she is saying. In ‘Boyhood’, we are watching the male character’s response to the female character talking. In each case, the emphasis is placed upon whichever character is ‘closer’ to the camera. A very subtle difference in camera set-up, resulting in a specific emotional response in the viewer.

However, to set-up this shot would require using a car-mount on the bonnet.

An alternative way of shooting dialogue scenes inside a car, suggested by Christopher Kenworthy (2012), is to place the camera in the back seat and position the camera on the opposite side of the car to the actor (fig. 3).

Fig. 2

This camera set-up avoids the need for a car-mount on the bonnet. When framing these shots, the driver needs to be framed hard on the left, and the passenger needs to be framed hard on the right. Kenworthy suggests giving the actors ‘plenty of motivation to look at each other; this shouldn’t be a casual chat, but a conversation that forces them to make eye contact’ (Kenworthy 2012, p.160).

Fig. 3

The car sequence in this assignment film ends with the daughter getting out of the car and the mother calling her back. Again, Kenworthy suggests a way of shooting a scene in which one character is inside the car and the other is outside (fig. 4).

 

 

The Look

A film with a similar look and feel to that which I am aiming to achieve is Certain Women (2017), directed by Kelly Reichardt. I re-watched the film paying particular attention to Reichardt’s approach to composition and her use of colour and light.

Fig. 4

Fig. 5

 

 

 

List of References

Kenworthy, C. 2011 Master Shots Volume 2: 100 ways to shoot great dialogue scenes Studio City, CA: Michael Wiese Productions

Kenworthy, C. 2012 Master Shots: 100 advanced camera techniques 2nd edition. Studio City, CA: Michael Wiese Productions

LaRovere, N. [n.d.] ‘The visual planning process that will make or break your film’ On: filmmakerfreedom.com At: https://filmmakerfreedom.com/blog/visual-planning [Accessed on 31 July 2018]

Torgovnik May, K. 2017 ‘How color helps a movie tell its story’ On: Ted, April 5, 2017 [Website] At: https//ideas.ted.com/how-color-helps-a-movie-tell-its-story [Accessed on 31 May 2018]

Van Duersen, L. & de Vries, M. 2013 Robbie Muller: Cinematography JRP Ringier

 

List of Illustrations

Figure 1. Visual reference material. Annotated screenshots from ‘Before Midnight’ (2013) and ‘Boyhood’ (2014) Dir. Richard Linklater.

Figure 2. Visual reference material. Annotated screenshots from ‘White Oleander’ (2002) Dir. Peter Kosminsky.

Figure 3. Visual reference material. Annotated screenshots from ‘Murder by Numbers’ (2002) Dir. Barbet Schroeder.

Figure 4. Still from Certain Women (2017) Dir. Kelly Reichardt. At: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt4468634/mediaviewer/rm3608941824 [Accessed on 2 September 2018]

Figure 5. Still from Certain Women (2017) Dir. Kelly Reichardt. At: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt4468634/mediaviewer/rm3608941824 [Accessed on 2 September 2018]

 

A3: Screenplay

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Background

This screenplay captures a single moment in time in the lives of a single mother and her teenage daughter. A moment in which things don’t go quite as expected for either of them.

The assignment brief required me to ‘create a short narrative film with a clearly defined conflict showing the main protagonist attempting to overcome or solve the conflict.’ At five and a half pages, it’s a very short screenplay. Everything takes place in a single day. But, all the structural elements are there (opening image, theme stated, set-up, catalyst, midpoint, climax, final image) and the conflict is clearly defined, in that both characters objectives are clearly stated: Mother wants her daughter to finish school and go to university; Daughter wants to take a gap year. We also see the main protagonist (Mother) attempt to solve the conflict, if in a somewhat unusual way.

I have intentionally left it open-ended, in that we don’t know what will become of Mother and Daughter, though we are aware things may never be the same again. It is also a narrative which I think captures the essence of the short film’s ability to ‘deliver a short, intense burst of emotion’ (Nash 2012, p.110).

What captured my imagination about this idea is Mother’s response to finding the letter in Daughter’s pocket – on discovering the deceit, she lets her daughter have a nice meal, then serves the letter up in a dessert specially prepared for the occasion. It reminds me of Ernestine Ulmer’s quote ‘Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first.’ I can’t remember where or when she said this, but I have since seen it on the walls or pavement boards of several Dublin cafes.

I like the idea of combining the ‘uncertainty’ and the ‘dessert’ in some way, of making a moving image that taps into both the concrete and the less tangible, abstract aspects of life – ‘Eat dessert’ is a fairly concrete action; while ‘Life is uncertain’ is an existential outlook on what it means to be human. If that makes any sense.

I have chosen pavlova for the dessert because, although a simple recipe, it is often something that is served during celebratory and holiday meals. I think this will add an element of irony to the scene as, in Mother’s eyes, there is nothing celebratory about the meal.

I see this script as just a blueprint for the finished moving image. I have purposely kept descriptions to a minimum, giving only the basic information needed to help the reader to get a sense of the story – characters, locations, actions. A lot will depend on how well I can stage the actors, light the scenes, and compose and frame the shots.

Looking back over the script, I notice there are several ways in which ‘uncertainty’ is embodied within the text: none of the characters are given names; the father’s presence is vague and undefined; why Mother decides to ‘confront’ Daughter with a dessert is unclear; the subtext beneath the Mother-Daughter relationship is vague; the open-ended ending leaves the viewer wondering what will happen between Mother and Daughter. All of this will add to the sense of ‘uncertainty’ within the film.

 

Screenplay (final draft)

 

 

Revision – 21/09/18

I put the screenplay up for peer review.

One observation about the ending was particularly interesting, in that the reviewer said she ‘knew what the mother might do, but the daughter is more unknown’ (Emma 516689, 2018). Her suggestion ‘I wonder if it would be worth investigating the daughter’s reaction at the end, rather than the mother’s’ made me re-think the effectiveness of the ending.

This was very helpful. I added another scene to the end of the film, in which we see the daughter’s reaction to the events at home.

 

To accommodate this change to the ending, in which we see the Daughter at the bus stop reading the letter, I altered the description at the end of the kitchen scene to show her picking up the letter as she storms out of the room.

 

List of references

Nash, P. 2012 Short Films: Writing the Screenplay Harpenden, UK: Camera Books

OCA Critiques Discussion Forum (2019) https://discuss.oca-student.com/t/can-anyone-critique-my-script-for-moving-image-assignment-3-on-conflict-please/8140/7 (Accessed on 16 September 2018)

 

A3: Finding and developing the story

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Assignment Brief

Create a short narrative film with a clearly defined conflict showing the main protagonist attempting to overcome or solve the conflict.

 

Gathering ideas

I started the writing process by looking for ideas that would challenge me creatively and be practical enough to make into a short film. In particular, I was looking for ideas that were grounded in real life situations, preferably some kind of life struggle involving two characters that could translate into an authentically told story on screen.

I began by gathering ideas for the assignment from a range of sources, including newspapers, online magazines and human interest websites, and even found objects. After I had gathered a dozen or so ideas, I sifted through them, discarding anything too complex and more suited to a longer film, too superficial, uninspiring or lacking in scope visually.

This left me with two potential ideas: one based on a found object and another drawn from a story on ‘Humans of New York’ website.

Taking these two initial stimuli, I then generated further ideas by clustering, a strategy suggested by Linda Anderson (2005). The first ‘cluster’ on the found object, a coil of cassette tape found at the side of the road while walking the dog, and then a second ‘cluster’ on the story of a mother and daughter I had discovered on the Humans of New York Facebook page towards the end of the gathering process.

Idea #1 – ‘Cassette Tape’

Logbook 4, pages 195-196

This idea is the result of finding and photographing the insides of an old cassette tape found at the side of the road.

Brainstorming around the found object generated several lines of creative enquiry:

  1. memory, recalled sensations and the act of remembering;
  2. an anonymous package;
  3. the cassette tape/mix tape;
  4. Neo-noir and David Lynch’s psychogenic fugue ‘Lost Highway’;
  5. a dangerous world, malevolent presence or parallel universe;
  6. Samuel Beckett’s play ‘Krapp’s Last Tape’.

I like the idea of a Neo-noir story built around memory and the act of remembering. Drawing upon some of these ideas could make a visually interesting moving image with quite dark undertones. It could also result in a film that challenges the viewer intellectually.

Idea #2 – ‘Mother and Daughter’

Logbook 4, pages 209-210

This idea is based on a story posted by Humans of New York (2018) on its Facebook page.

Brainstorming around the story of the mother and daughter generated a very different set of ideas than those of the old cassette tape. One that was in keeping with my original notion of using a real life situation.

  1. two contrasting characters
  2. a clearly defined conflict
  3. a family confrontation
  4. a life problem
  5. the need for the protagonist to confront their life problem
  6. a rite of passage

I liked the idea of the mother cooking dinner for her daughter, letting ‘her have a nice meal’ and then serving ‘the letter for dessert’. I would probably not use the bike ride. Containing the story within the family home rather than taking it outdoors would create a more pressured feel to the moving image.

Both stories have potential for being developed into a moving image.

Weighing one idea against the other, I decided to file the ‘cassette tape’ idea away for future project film development and focus on the story about the mother and daughter.

 

‘Mother and Daughter’ – Developing the story

There were two things I particularly liked about this idea: the image of the mother serving her daughter with a letter for ‘dessert’ and the rite of passage inherent within the story.

The mother’s rite of passage is the realisation that her child is now a young woman with a life of her own. The daughter’s rite of passage is that of personal freedom. There are several layers of conflict within this scenario. There is an inner conflict within each of the two characters. There is also a conflict between the two characters.

I found a couple of points in Patrick Nash’s book on writing short films particularly helpful at this stage.

‘A well-scripted short film can deliver a short, intense burst of emotion’ (Nash 2012, p.110). What drew me to the original idea was the slow build up to an intense burst of emotion in the mother and daughter’s argument and the daughter’s final outburst and storming out of the house.

‘The character has little or no time to change significantly except for perhaps a dramatic revelation or sudden insight into his condition at the end. Interestingly, in some shorts the protagonist actually causes other characters to change while he himself remains relatively unchanged’ (Nash 2012, p.92). This idea was useful in that it fits the story in ‘Mother and Daughter’. It quickly became clear that in this particular story that, through her actions, Mother causes Daughter to ‘change’.

Logline

The first step in developing the story was to write a logline.

In the online article ‘How to Write a Logline: The Ultimate Step-by-Step Guide’ (Script Reader Pro, 2018), the logline is described as the story’s core conflict summed up in one sentence, containing three elements: ‘Protagonist + Struggle with Antagonist + Death Stakes’.

The article goes on to say that ‘what’s important is that there is a three-way triangle of conflict that gives a sense of the pressure the antagonist is going to put the protagonist under and why we should care…It’s this three-way power struggle between the protagonist and antagonist both fighting in direct opposition over something big at stake (usually personified in a stakes character)—that gives a screenplay its power.’

However, crafting the logline with this in mind was not as easy as it looked and required a considerable amount of trial and error to write. Identifying the ‘Protagonist’ and ‘Struggle with Antagonist’ was fairly straightforward. Finding the ‘Death Stakes’ was harder. It was only after I realised that the core conflict in this story was teenage personal freedom, that I was able to see what the stakes within the story were.

After several drafts, I settled on the following logline:

‘An over-protective single mother clashes with her teenage daughter after discovering she lied about applying for a place at university, challenging her personal freedom.’

Although I don’t think it is perfectly phrased, it does contain the three key elements required of the logline and gives a sense of the protagonist, their struggle with the antagonist and the stakes involved.

Step Outline

Taking the logline as the core, I drafted a rough outline for the story by sketching out a simple flow diagram of the key moments within the plot. A bit like a jigsaw. It didn’t have to be right at this stage. It just had to be complete.

‘Mother and Daughter’ flow diagram

Using a flow diagram to sketch out the bare bones of the narrative in this way helped me to see visually what I had and what was missing in the original idea, and how well everything would fit together before committing to a more detailed step outline.

I then prepared a more detailed step outline.

‘Mother and Daughter’ Step Outline

The twelve steps within this outline are loosely based on Blake Snyder’s 15-point structure of beats (Snyder, 2005).

What’s interesting about Snyder’s approach to screenwriting is its flexibility. The fifteen ‘beats’ correspond to the key moments within a screenplay and the order in which they occur. Each beat shows something happening to the main protagonist and serves to move the story forward.

I began by looking at the first and last ‘beats’ – the ‘Opening Image’, which Snyder describes as ‘the very first impression of what a movie is – its tone, its mood, the type and scope of the film…a “before” snapshot’ (Snyder 2005, p.72) and the ‘Final Image’, which is ‘the opposite of the opening image. The proof that change has occurred and that it’s real’ (Snyder 2005, p.90).

As this story is based on a conflict between a mother and daughter, I decided to open with an image of two characters, Mother and Daughter, together on a sofa, relaxed at the end of the day, and close with the opposite image of Mother alone on the sofa at the end of the day. Contrasting images of the same place, featuring the Mother figure in opposite states of mind.

I then looked at the intervening steps of the story and how Snyder’s 15-point structure of beats might help inform the way in which I could write my first draft.

The ‘Stated Theme’ beat was particularly useful when it came to shaping the opening scenes in the car. Snyder suggests that somewhere near the beginning ‘someone (usually not the main character) will pose a question or make a statement (usually to the main character) that is the theme of the movie…it will be conversational, an offhand remark that the main character doesn’t get at the moment – but which will have far-reaching and meaningful impact later’ (2005, p.73). This is great advice. I gave Daughter the line ‘Mam, will you stop fussing, and just let me be me’ in response to Mother’s nagging as she heads off to school. The phrase ‘let me be me’ serving as both a rebuff to Mother and a subtle reference to the theme of teenage personal freedom.

I conflated the ‘Stated Theme’ beat with the ‘Set-up’ beat. The set-up, which corresponds to Act 1, the ‘beginning’ of the film, is where the characters are introduced to the viewer, and where ‘we exhibit every behaviour that needs to be addressed later on, and show how and why the hero need will need to change in order to win’ (Snyder 2005, p.75). In this story, we are introduced to the characters in a car on the way to school, in which we see Mother as domineering and Daughter as long-suffering and on the verge of resisting her mother’s wishes for her.

The next beat, the ‘Catalyst’ moment, is a life-changing event ‘disguised as bad news’ (Snyder 2005, p. 77). Mother finds the letter saying her daughter has missed the university admission deadline. This is the moment she realises Daughter has lied to her. The moment in which Mother decides to confront Daughter’s deceit.

The ‘Fun and Games’ beat was particularly enjoyable to work on. Snyder describes this part of the film as ‘where we aren’t as concerned with the forward progress of the story – the stakes won’t be raised until the midpoint – as we are concerned with having “fun” (2005, p.81). He also says that this is ‘the heart of the movie’ (2005, p.81) and the point at which ‘we take a break from the stakes of the story and see what the idea is about…I call it fun and games because this section is lighter in tone than other sections’ (2005, p.82). Taking Snyder at his work, I ‘played’ with the main idea that grabbed me in the original Humans of New York story, that of the mother serving up the letter as dessert. So I decided to develop a scene in which Mother was in the kitchen preparing the ingredients and assembling the dessert.

This leads naturally to the ‘Midpoint’ and the ‘All is Lost’ beats, in which the midpoint is a ‘false victory’ and the ‘All is Lost’ is the opposite (Snyder 2005, p.84) – Mother lets Daughter have a nice meal, then serves up ‘dessert’ (‘false victory’), followed by the argument in which Daughter reveals her intention to go on a gap year with her friend (the All is Lost opposite).

The story moves swiftly towards its conclusion in the ‘Dark Night of the Soul’ beat, the ‘”Oh Lord, why has thou forsaken me?” beat’ (Snyder 2005, p.88) in which Mother realises she has miscalculated in confronting Daughter, maybe even lost her. Daughter storms out of the house, leaving Mother alone.

When it came to writing the end of the film, I found some useful advice in Patrick Nash’s book on writing short films: ‘In short films there is seldom much time for resolution scenes. It is often better to end on the dramatic climax, to go out on the ‘bang’ as it were’ (Nash, p.90).

Drawing upon Snyder’s description of the ‘Finale’ beat, in which we see ‘the turning over of the old world and a creation of a new world order – thanks to the hero’ (2005, p.90), the story ends on a dark note, with Mother alone in the house. I have left it open-ended, in that we don’t know what will become of Mother and Daughter. Though we are aware that things may never be the same again.

 

Script

‘Mother and Daughter’ 1st, 2nd & 3rd drafts

I found the process of working from logline to step outline to first drafts a very effective way of shaping the script. Resisting the temptation to jump straight in and write the first draft, pinning the idea down with a logline was a great way of thinking through and refining the idea in terms of the story’s protagonist, struggle and stakes. It’s not something I have tried before. Preparing a step outline helped provide a road map for writing the first draft.

When it came to writing the first draft, I followed the flow of ideas within the step outline, letting my imagination and the characters take over.

 

Conclusion

This part of the filmmaking process has been a fascinating experience. I’ve used a few techniques I haven’t tried before. Writing a logline and step outline before working on the script has particularly valuable. Techniques I will continue to use when working on future moving image projects.

However, finding, developing and writing the script has taken almost two months. Considerably longer than I had expected. I had hoped to have completed the film by early August.

What this has highlighted is that there is a weakness in my writing skills that needs to be addressed. Especially when it comes to finding and developing ideas for screenplays. One way of addressing this shortfall would be by enrolling on ‘Creative Writing 1: Scriptwriting’ and developing a better understanding of the building blocks of screenwriting

 

List of references

Anderson, L. ed. 2005 Creative Writing: a workbook with readings Abingdon, UK: Routledge and The Open University

Nash, P. 2012 Short Films: Writing the Screenplay Harpenden, UK: Camera Books

Snyder, B.  2005 Save the Cat: The Last Book on Screenwriting You’ll Ever Need Studio City: Michael Wiese Productions

Humans of New York 2018 ‘I had to take a bike ride to get away from my teenage daughter’, In: Humans of New York At: http://www.humansofnewyork.com/post/176666815436/i-had-to-take-a-bike-ride-to-get-away-from-my [Accessed on 5 August 2018]

Script Reader Pro 2018 ‘How to Write a Logline: The Ultimate Step-by-Step Guide’, In: Scriptreaderpro.com, July 17, 2018 At: https://www.scriptreaderpro.com/script-logline/ [Accessed on 9 August 2018]

 

Into the Woods Installation Shots, Ellie Davies

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I recently discovered the work of photographer Ellie Davies, whose work has opened up a whole new perspective for me on how the forest setting can be used to great effect within still images.

Her approach is very immersive and involves spending time getting to know and feel the forest before starting work on an image. Talking about her process, she says ‘each series will start with walking, sketching and note-making. Walking allows me to familiarise myself with different areas of the forest and select places that suit each image I am hoping to create. I carry a lightweight kit and I usually sit for a while to get used to the space before starting work, listening to the birds and seeing how it feels to be there. You start to hear the leaves falling and the trees creaking’ (Bradbury, 2016).

She then spends hours hand making or painting props and attaching them to the trees, before capturing the perfect image. The resulting shots challenge the viewer to ‘consider mankind’s relationship with nature and to explore our cultural perceptions of forests in popular culture, folklore, literature or film’ (Bradbury, 2016).

Fig. 1. ‘Smoke and Mirrors’ 2010

 

Fig. 2. ‘Stars’ 2014-2015

 

Fig. 3. ‘Come With Me’ 2011

 

Fig. 4. ‘Between the Trees’ 2014

The magic within her work is in ‘her knack of turning reality into a dream-like vision that verges on hyper-reality’ (Bradbury, 2016).

In some of her projects she introduces elements into the scene, such as clouds of smoke, painted trees, fern pathways, or even galaxies of stars, superimposed over forests. There are no people or animals in her photographs. The landscape itself is the character.

In her artist statement, she explains how her work ‘explores the ways in which identity is formed by the landscapes we live and grow up in’ (Davies, n/d) and that the landscape images she creates ‘are a reflection of my personal relationship with the forest, a meditation on universal themes relating to the psyche and call into question the concept of landscape as a social and cultural construct. Most importantly they draw the viewer into the forest space, asking them to consider how their own identity is shaped by the landscapes they live in’ (Davies, n/d).

Like Davies, I too am interested in identity and how it is formed by the environment in which we live and grow. I like the way in which she creates images that are reflections of her personal relationship with the landscape. I also like the way she describes her work as ‘a meditation’ on universal themes. In some way, I would like to create moving images that do the same: that reflect my interest in identity and place; that are reflections of my personal relationship with specific places; that are meditations on universal themes.

Looking back at my first assignment and follow up research on the cultural meaning of forests, I think this could add a new dimension to my approach when working on new projects. Particularly in terms of creating moving images that challenge our perception identity and place.

 

References

Bradbury, N. 2016 ‘Ellie Davies’ In: Sodium Burn [website] At: http://www.sodiumburn.com/interview/ellie-davies

Davies, E. ‘Statement’ At: https://elliedavies.co.uk/statement/

‘Stars’. In: Lens Culture [website] At: https://www.lensculture.com/articles/ellie-davies-stars

 

List of illustrations

Figure 1. ‘Smoke and Mirrors’ 2010

Figure 2. ‘Stars’ 2014-2015

Figure 3. ‘Come With Me’ 2011

Figure 4. ‘Between the Trees’ 2014